Letting yourself know what you know: Winter's invitation for reflection
Today I woke up to my alarm but had the luxury to move more slowly. I drifted in and out of sleep, pulled the covers up around my face, and basked in the coziness that surrounded me. Crisp, cold air and bright light filled the room. At that moment, staying in my warm cocoon was the best use of my slow-start morning. I allowed myself to linger for a while until the threat of losing out on my morning routine pushed me out of bed. I pulled on sweatpants and thick wool socks to plod downstairs and make myself some tea. Renesting, now on the couch, tea in hand, I pull my journal into my lap and write the date on a fresh page.
To me, the simple pleasure of morning quiet, a hot drink, and allowing myself to be with myself through journaling feels particularly felt in winter. Over many years, and not without trial and effort, I’ve built a journaling practice that has ranged from multi-month-long gaps with entries chronicling only the most memorable of moments to daily records of mundane happenings and innermost feelings. I routinely fall in and out, allowing my practice to evolve and mold itself to the season of life I’m in. Though I’ve noticed in the busier days of summer, I might pick it up once a week. But in winter, which mirrors reflection and stillness, I feel the urge to emulate nature and write daily.
Life slows down in winter. The natural world has pared down to the barest of essentials, and to sustain life puts less energy into doing and more into simply being. Winter comes with challenges: snow and ice, grey dullness, and long nights. Cold bites and coaxes you to stay home, draw inward, and wait it out. Oftentimes, winter can be confronting in its stillness, coldness, and darkness. With less to distract us, emotions tend to surface, and we’re often left feeling anxious, depressed, isolated, and out of sorts. All of which is 100% normal.
All emotions can be seen as messengers, calling us in to tend to what needs our care. This is where I feel so strongly that journaling can come in. The adage, “what we resist, persists”, so commonly spoken it can feel exhausting, rings especially true in winter. Journaling is a powerful tool to process our emotions, thoughts, and experiences. Paradoxically, allowing the darkness in willingly (which is scary to just about everyone) has the effect of letting it move on more freely.
I could be feeling a flurry of overwhelming, difficult emotions, or a blizzard raging internally, blocking out my perspective. But by the time I have connected pen to paper and offered the emotions some time to express themselves, I notice them dialing back their intensity. Through journaling, these parts of myself feel heard and acknowledged. They see I’ve “gotten the message” in some shape or form. They’ve done their job and now can rest. Journaling enables me to surrender my resistance and be truly there for myself.
I can see myself more clearly from the vantage point of my journal. Although a short distance, I see my thoughts and feelings outside myself on the page. Instead of being lost inside my head, I feel a driving force of grounding and direction while writing. I can tap into my wise inner parent, and offer compassion to myself, as well as discernment. I can more easily spot my patterns that stem from old hurts. Through journaling, I try to see beyond the face-value interpretation of my worries and connect to the deeper need or task that lies buried underneath.
Winter has its particular hardships, and it’s particular opportunities. My teacher Sheryl Paul delivers wisdom from the Jungian tradition:
In winter, the feminine aches to emerge. Lay the guilt aside and allow yourself to drop into being. Follow this season’s call to turn inward and be curious about what you’ll find. This is how we connect to Self, and it’s through filling the well of Self that we provide ourselves with an unwavering safe place of anchor and wisdom from which to handle the seasons of life.
In winter, as you watch the stillness settle over the land and notice the hibernation of your own soul, you can ask, “What arises in quiet and solitude?”
To begin journaling, any paper you have already at home will do. Take down the barriers of needing to find the perfect notebook or waiting for it to come in the mail. (I’ve been there! Hello resistance!) You can start, right after reading this post. You don’t have to devote heaps of time for journaling to be meaningful either. I encourage you to handwrite over typing because the slower pace and act of forming the letters can be therapeutic itself. But what matters most is starting, even if it's in the notes app on your phone.
Journaling as a therapeutic tool
No matter which type of journaling you start, simply beginning the habit in an accessible way will be therapeutic. Sometimes it can be daunting to “just start” without direction, so I’ll review a few options. Take what inspires you and leave the rest!
Descriptive Journaling
Also known as diary keeping or a regular-degular ;) journal, descriptive journaling is the act of creating a record of what has happened. This is a very accessible way to start and can morph and combine with other styles. When you aren’t sure how you feel, writing out a description and giving the memories space often helps to connect to our reactions and feelings.
Stream of Consciousness Journaling
We can thank Julia Cameron’s book, “The Artist’s Way” for popularizing this method of journaling. The idea is to just begin writing whatever comes to mind. She suggests you might even start with, “I don’t know what to write” and go from there, writing it repeatedly or going with your next thought. This is a great way to encounter your unconscious or less often looked at thoughts and feelings.
Inner Dialogue Journaling
In my training as a self-compassion-informed psychotherapist, and through my studies of Sheryl Paul’s work, I have been deeply moved by the power of this journaling style. It typically involves writing out a conversation between a part of yourself and your wise inner parent. The part could be wounded in some way, it could be a part of you that wants to protect yourself, you at a certain age, or it could be a feeling. For example, you could dialogue with your anxiety like this:
Anxiety: no one will enjoy the party because I haven’t been able to prepare as much as I wished.
Wise Inner Parent: I’m so sorry you feel like you have to be perfect in order for things to go well, where is that coming from?
Anxiety: I’ve always felt this way, even as a child…
Wise Inner Parent: It makes sense why you would feel this way now, even though you know that perfection isn’t needed anymore…
Art Journaling
Go beyond the written word and express yourself through drawing, painting, collaging, or any other art medium. You could mix written sections with your art, or doodle in the margins. You don’t need to be a practiced artist to incorporate art into your journaling. You can blend stream-of-consciousness journaling with art journaling and see where it takes you. I’ve found that this form of journaling can yield some unexpected and helpful insights. No one has to see it!
Gratitude Journaling
An uplifting and often quick journaling technique that can feel more accessible for beginners, gratitude journaling is simply writing down who and what you are grateful for. Writing down feelings of gratitude is a mood booster and a beautiful mindfulness practice that will help you see the beauty of the season of life you’re in.
Letter Writing Journaling
Writing letters need not fade into the annals of history! Letters are a beautiful way to express yourself. You can write a letter to yourself from your wise self, and maybe even address it to yourself at a particular age. Another option is to write a letter to anyone in your life, without the intention of sending it. You might ask for forgiveness, or explain what you wish they had known about you. Letter writing journaling can help to maintain a connection to a deceased loved one as well.
Journaling Prompts / Reflective Journaling
This style of journaling begins with a question. You might sit in silence and wait for one to rise to the surface, or you can follow a prompt. The aim here is to give yourself time and space to feel and think through the question.
Journaling Prompts for Mental Health
How are you feeling today, lately, or this month?
How are you different from last month?
What can you do today to take care of yourself?
When did you first notice that you felt anxious?
How are you helping yourself during difficult times?
What is holding you back?
What would you need to hear from others to feel more supported?
How can I support myself to take the next step?
Now that you have this primer on journaling, I hope you feel encouraged to get to writing! I find that creating a cozy space and carving out time specifically for journaling helps protect my practice when things get hectic. When they inevitably do, I say there is all the more reason to protect this time and be with yourself.
To wrap up, I’ve been thinking about this idea stated by Lisa Marchiano of This Jungian Life in a recent podcast. She said (I’m paraphrasing) that therapy is the process of letting yourself know what you know. The therapist’s job is to help you uncover your own inner knowing and wisdom from within. I resonated with this and also felt such strong parallels to journaling. Journaling helps because it is a way in. Lisa said that it’s easy to struggle because you can know something and let yourself not know it. Sometimes our emotions, thoughts, and wisdom can feel uncomfortable, inconvenient, and even scary. I thought, now isn’t that just so relatable?! My wish for you is to surrender to winter’s invitation to go into whatever you’re currently feeling. You might ask yourself, “What do I know right now?”
Wishing you well,
