Therapy for Self-Compassion
In-person in Philadelphia and online throughout Pennsylvania and New Jersey.
It is far too painful to struggle alone with anxiety, low self-worth and self-criticism. Aligned Life Therapy (ALT) specializes in using self-compassion to treat these often life-shrinking concerns.
When worries, judgments, and fears are excessive and negatively influence your quality of life, it’s time to seek help. While it may feel like these thoughts are taking over, with therapy and a commitment to the process, I’ll help you put self-criticism in its place as a smaller part of a big, meaningful life.
You’re curious about self-compassion. Maybe it seems like it’s for others, but not for you.
Hi, I’m Julia! Self-compassion is at the core of my work. Kindness has the power to shape our lives.
Ready to build a kinder sense of self?
Would you speak to a dear friend in the same way you speak to yourself?
The idea that you’re very hard on yourself may have been a recent realization. Deep down, you’ve always felt this way, like you’re either too much or never enough. Your awareness that you are not good enough is so automatic it’s like a colored filter on your experience you may have forgotten was there. You might not have put it in quite these words, but your inner critic overwhelms you with feelings of shame and hopelessness. You’d like to be kinder to yourself, and your thoughts about the difficulties you’ve had thus far might be telling to you that you really don’t have what it takes. You’re ready to dig in and discover how therapy can help.
Or do you find yourself surprised by the intensity and tone of your private, inner voice?
Can you relate to these statements?
I deserve to feel bad about myself.
I’m worried about what others think of me.
I feel disconnected from others.
I’m not good enough.
I’m too much of a burden.
I can never get anything right.
Low self-esteem and self-criticism don’t have to control your life.
I am a therapist specially trained in the science of self-compassion. So I know that harsh self-talk can become a monster that feels impossible to live without. You don’t have to struggle alone. You can create a new relationship with yourself. When the inner critic shows up, we’ll work together to build compassion and understanding, while also putting it in its place. Healing from self-criticism involves building self-awareness and self-compassion. Your unique path in life has led self-criticism to play an important role. It’s now time to shift into new ways of relating to yourself that foster a sense of safety, vitality, and ease within yourself.
Self-compassion therapy can help.
DESCRIPTION OF SELF-COMPASSION
Aligned Life Therapy provides therapy for anxiety that focuses on building compassionate self-awareness and practical skills that are proven to help people manage their anxiety and enjoy life more fully. By taking a person-centered approach and incorporating therapeutic techniques from Compassion Focused Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment therapy, CBT, Mindfulness Based Therapy and many others, you’ll receive treatment that is customized to your experience. You can expect to develop tools that work and a kinder relationship with yourself.
Therapy for low self-esteem and self-criticism can be deeply rewarding. You may have experienced trauma or difficulties in your family growing up that we will work through as part of the therapy. I use the principles of self-compassion and a range of proven therapeutic approaches to shine a light on why self-criticism shows up and what we can do about it. You’ll develop a self-compassionate voice that can slowly begin to influence how you feel about yourself and the world around you. We’ll laugh together too. Our minds work in ways we would never have chosen for ourselves!
I know how exhausting and defeating it feels to grapple with difficult feelings day in and day out. I also know you can experience something radically different. What you’re going through right now makes sense, and you deserve a supportive therapist who will meet you where you are without judgment. You have the ability to put self-criticism in its place: as a small part of a much bigger, vibrant life.
Ready to apply self-compassion to your life?
Commonly asked questions
-
Self-esteem refers to how we feel about ourselves. It reflects your opinion of who you are, what you can do, and what you deserve. It influences the degree to which you feel worthy, valuable, and confident about your decisions. Difficulties with self-esteem often contribute to experiences of anxiety, social fears, depression, perfectionism, and other mental health struggles. Signs of low self-esteem include an intensely critical inner voice, feelings of overall dissatisfaction with life, and difficulty pursuing the things you like to do. If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, you may feel personally deficient or that something is wrong with you that prevents you from living a meaningful life, whether it shows up at work, in relationships, or other valued activities. A healthy sense of self-esteem or self-worth is positively associated with overall life satisfaction, accomplishing goals, and healthier, happier relationships.
-
Our minds work in ways we would never have chosen for ourselves! From an early age, we learn about the world and try our best to make sense of it. Unfortunately for many (and I mean most!) people, we pick up messages from our families and communities that sow seeds of comparison, competition, and judgment. Naturally, all of these messages get turned inward as a way to stay safe. In cases of mistreatment or abuse, the effects can be particularly damaging.
Often, if we feel we “know” we are bad, unworthy, or not good enough, we then adapt our behavior accordingly. Humans are social creatures, and our minds are wired to avoid painful experiences. These adaptations keep us safe for a time, but then ultimately serve to make us feel bad about ourselves and leave us feeling more and more stuck. Giving up these adaptations is a challenge because so many of us are taught a “tough love” approach to life and feel we will lose all awareness and motivation if we stop criticizing ourselves.
Healing from low self-esteem involves building self-awareness and self-compassion. Your unique path in life has led to low self-esteem and/or self-criticism plays an important role. It’s now time to shift into new ways of relating to yourself that foster a sense of safety, vitality, and ease within yourself.
-
Low self-esteem isn’t a diagnosable mental disorder, but rather an understandable outcome to less than ideal circumstances. Any of these patterns may feel familiar:
All or nothing thinking : seeing things as either all terrible or all good.
Negativity bias: Only seeing the negatives in yourself and circumstances.
Over-personalizing: seeing outcomes or events as being your responsibility or fault.
Emotional flooding: feeling overwhelmed by thoughts and sensations that you are bad, stupid or unworthy.
Communication challenges: difficulty speaking up and sharing your needs because they feel like too much or not important enough.
Relationship stress: feeling like you don’t deserve the people in your life or that you are a burden.
Downplaying or ignoring positives: feeling overly modest about accomplishments or not recognizing them altogether.
Assuming the worst: anxiety mixed with low self-esteem can lead to feeling the worst outcome will happen because of you.
-
Working with a therapist who specializes in low self-esteem, like Julia McGrath, LMFT at Aligned Life Therapy, will bring an understanding, non-judgemental and compassionate approach to addressing self-esteem. Working with a therapist who is a good fit and truly “gets it” is the highest predictor of a good therapy outcome.
Aligned Life uses evidenced-based strategies drawn from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Compassion Focused Therapy to customize the therapy to your unique circumstances. Additionally, Aligned Life emphasizes social identity and a social justice framework in understanding the cultural forces that often contribute to low self-esteem. In therapy for self-esteem, you will build self-awareness of how you formed your view of yourself.
Together, we’ll use that knowledge to “talk back” to unhelpful feelings and thoughts about yourself and start seeing yourself in the same way you would a good friend. We’ll use a compassionate approach to looking at growth areas while also affirming your intrinsic goodness.
-
When you make the decision to begin therapy for self-compassion, you are already sending yourself the message that you are worthy of feeling something different. How we view ourselves ultimately shapes how we view the world, how happy we are, and whether we feel a deep sense of satisfaction. You may have experienced trauma or difficulties in your family growing up that we will work through as part of the therapy. You’ll develop a self-compassionate voice that can slowly begin to influence how you feel about yourself and the world around you. The process can be fun as well, trying new things and exploring who you really are underneath it all. If you are on the fence, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We offer free consultations to help you make the best decision for you.
Let’s Chat!
How to get started with Self-compassion Therapy at Aligned Life Therapy?
Aligned Life Therapy provides Self-compassion therapy in Philadelphia and throughout Pennsylvania. If you’re ready to get started with therapy, follow these steps:
Get in touch - Reach out to me by email or through the contact form to ask about availability. I will return your message within 24 hours on business days to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.
Have your free consultation - This call will give you a chance to ask any questions you have before your first appointment. It also allows me to get to know you, what’s bringing you in, and determine if we are a good fit. Your first session will be scheduled during the call.
Fill out consent forms and intake questionnaire -. In order to dive right in, I’ll send you a secure link to my client portal after our consultation. Fill out these forms and read the consent and practice policy documents carefully prior to the first session.
Receive your video chat link or office directions - Before your session, you’ll receive reminders by text and email with either a link to the video chat for online sessions or office directions and parking instructions for in-person in Chestnut Hill, Philadelphia.
Have your first session - From either a private and comfortable location or the office, your first few sessions will be focused on getting to know you, and your concerns and collaborating on treatment goals.
