End of Year Reflection 2020
Phew. 2020 has been quite the year. I think it’s fair to say that no one is coming out of this experience unchanged. This is true with any year, of course, but I feel the heaviness of this year in particular and think it calls for a little extra love and attention.
We’re now more than half-way through December, and our minds are already focused on 2021. The year ahead and all of it’s hope and uncertainties hang large in our minds. It is tempting to always be thinking “what’s next”? This tendency is there to help us keep going. And at the same time, we can inadvertently block ourselves from slowing down and reaping the benefits of reflection. The end of any year gives us an opportunity to hit pause and connect with ourselves.
With the spirit of the season in mind, and my practice’s mission for helping others develop self-knowledge and compassion, I want to share a few therapist-tested ideas of how to start reflecting on 2020. I’ll walk you through some journaling, and also link some additional resources to guide your reflection process.
End of Year Journaling
If you’re not a journaler, don’t let this stop you from trying these out. Writing is a wonderful way to develop our connection to ourselves. Below are a few prompts I’ve thought up to help kick start a journaling session. Remember, it’s not homework! Set aside an hour or so, grab a hot cup of tea, pick a few questions and start writing!
What was the most memorable part of this year? Describe it:
What was painful about this year?
What opportunities came up this year?
What were your priorities this year?
How were your relationships this year?
What are you grateful for?
What lessons will you take with you from this year?
How are you different this year from previous years?
How did you talk to yourself this year? (Inner thoughts)
How did grief show up this year?
What did you learn this year?
In what ways did you grow?
As you set out on your reflection, here are some therapy-style pointers to help you on your way:
Acknowledge your pain.
This year has been painful in many ways. It can be challenging to sit with this, and it’s also worthwhile. Writing about our pain can help us process it, and give ourselves permission for it to be there. If it feels safe to do so, explore the meanings and associations that tie your experiences, thoughts and emotions together. For example, the isolation of this year might remind you of other times in your life when you felt alone. The political climate reminds us of how unjust our society has always been. Making these connections can help to give ourselves some TLC. The knowledge that this heaviness is more than just this year can help us to validate our experiences. Instead of blaming ourselves for how we feel, we might begin to offer ourselves compassion for how this year has impacted us. If you’re feeling more sad and more anxious as this year ends, that makes complete sense- try acknowledging this for yourself.
Trust your process.
After acknowledging our experiences, we then might be able to dive into what meaning we have made from it or what lessons we have gleaned. If it feels like a stretch to look for silver linings at this point, I’ll encourage you to be okay with that. While we have gone through this year together, our experiences vary greatly depending on sheer luck, our location, identity, employment, family and experience of privilege and/or oppression. There is no deadline for healing, so give yourself the time you need. You need not ever be forced to look at the bright side when you don’t want to. This is okay. See if you can find softness if you feel self-criticism and comparison creeping in.
Gratitude can help.
It’s also okay if part of your healing and reflecting involves teasing out those lessons and acknowledging the joy, opportunities and moments of gratitude that came along during the last year. We were plunged into circumstances that forced us to change and adapt. We experienced some intense growing pains! How we rose to meet these unforeseen challenges can give us pride in the midst of pain. Our close relationships were put to the test. We may be left feeling intense gratitude for their presence which can give us energy to keep showing up and working on our relationships. How we coped with our stress, and prioritized ourselves through self care, can also be a lesson to us as we head into 2021. Developing our awareness of the good things in life can bring us a sense of groundedness, joy and connection to what’s important to us.
Make space for complexity.
The last thing I’ll say is I want to encourage you to allow your reflection to be messy, to not make perfect sense, to contradict itself- to be complex and nuanced- to not be fully formed. Give yourself some thanks for giving your feelings a place to explore, without judgement. Our emotional worlds aren’t logical, linear, or even necessarily translatable into words! Just try your best to see it all, and give yourself some credit for making it to today.
Below are a few other resources for mindfulness, reflection and intention setting. Wishing you well!
A 15-min Guided meditation for the mindfulness crowd.
A free-download (digital and print) specifically created for end of year reflection. Highly recommended!
A thorough end of year review with a systematic approach for the detail oriented.
A daily planner that doubles as a reflection journal and an goal planner. Available digitally and in print. I love this planner- I’m in my third year of using this method!
