Are introverts really thriving during COVID-19?
One idea I’ve noticed circulating on social media over the last, wait, um… 6 months during the COVID-19 quarantine is the idea that introverts are living their best ‘rona life right now. A quick google search brings up memes like this:
First off, they are funny. I can see why so many people are making this connection. On many levels, it makes a lot of sense. In general, introverts do enjoy and are satisfied with spending more time alone. Physiologically, introverts are wired differently. They can thrive on lower levels of stimulation (aka excitement) than extroverts can. This explains why introverts will tend to view curling up with a book as the ideal way to spend an evening, whereas an extrovert is more likely to crave the excitement of more stimulating activities, like going to a party.
Second- I cannot deny that for many introverts, quarantine living has been easier and in some ways enjoyable or even preferable to pre-quarantine life. More time for home based hobbies, less small talk. Sounds pretty good.
Buttt…. I do take issue with a blanket assumption that introverts are all having the time of their lives during lock-down. And I’ll tell you why.
Here are my top three reasons why I‘m skeptical of the “living-my-best-introvert-COVID-life” idea:
It neglects the emotional impact of COVID on our lives and communities. Introverts often also fit into the category known as “HSP” (highly sensitive people). This means that many introverts deeply feel the gravity of the loss and destruction caused by COVID. This applied to those directly and indirectly impacted. So, even if introverts are content being alone, this idea that everything is great just doesn’t hold up for many, if not most, introverts who are mourning the impacts of the pandemic.
Introverts are NOT antisocial. This common misconception is completely untrue. Sure, introverts may feel nervous around others at times, or feel overwhelmed in a crowd. This does not mean that they don’t want to interact with others. Most introverts deeply care about being considerate and kind and enjoy social interactions, especially when they involve connection, mutual respect and common interests. The absence of these quality interactions during COVID has been hard for many introverts.
Introverts tend to rely on small social interactions or observations throughout their days to get their dose of connection. Sometimes, all it takes is to witness a strangers’ happy moment to fill their cup. Stuck inside, these small moments have become rarities. Many introverts may be feeling lonelier than ever and may have a particularly hard time seeking out connection from friends and family.
I could write more about how introverts have been impacted by COVID, but I think you get the gist. So no, not all introverts are living their best ‘rona life right now. And that’s completely understandable and completely ok.
More importantly, I want to encourage everyone reading to look out for the introverts in their lives. It takes little effort that can make the world of difference to an introvert to stay connected during this time. If you know anyone that is struggling, offer to listen to what this time has been like for them, introvert or not. If you are reading this and you identify as an introvert, I want you to know that I see you! I encourage you to reach out to someone for a chat if you are feeling lonely. They will be happy to hear from you! And if you are really finding this time difficult, know there is no shame in asking for help or going to therapy. Introverts can feel uncomfortably when reaching out to a therapist, but I assure you it is worth it.
As an introverted therapist myself, I understand what it’s like to be in your shoes. If you need help finding a therapist who gets it or would like to talk about working together, please reach out to me.
Wishing everyone self-compassion and connection on your terms.
-Julia
